Can We Grow Out of Trauma and Grief?

There have been many tragedies in our world this year. Some have been very personal. Many of us have lost loved ones or had other things happened that have forever changed our lives. Some of the tragedies have been very public. We’ve lost public figures we admire like Muhammad Ali, David Bowie, Prince, Elie Wiesel, and Alan Rickman.  We have witnessed hate, terrorist attacks, and many other terrible things. 

These things often bring us to our knees when they happen. They bring tears, questions about life, and grief. Grief and sadness are normal parts of experiencing tragedy. Some will even experience depression and post-traumatic stress symptoms after a tragedy or traumatic event.

News stories often cover what happens right after a tragedy occurs, but what happens after that? What happens after the cameras go home and we move on with our lives? Are there ever happy endings? The answer is, yes. There is something called Post Traumatic Growth that can even lead to positive growth and change after a tragedy or loss. Richard Tedeschi, Ph.D., and Lawrence Calhoun, Ph.D., psychologists at the University of North Carolina, Charlotte coined the term in 1995 but people have been making come backs from difficult times since the beginning of time. People often learn important lessons in difficult situations and develop a deeper sense of compassion.

Some ways that people may experience growth after a tragedy:

• Awareness of possibilities for the future
• A deeper understanding and value for relationships with others
• Compassion and empathy for others
• A desire to make positive changes in your world
• A greater understanding of your strengths
• A greater value of life itself
• Changed priorities
• Awareness of values
• Increased understanding of the meaning of life
• Awareness of the fragility of life

In Viktor Frankl’s epic work “Man’s Search for Meaning” he outlined the three ways in which people find the meaning of their life; love, work, and suffering. While we would never want to intentionally experience suffering, it is often a part of our lives. It can be a very difficult thing to go through but also an opportunity for growth and renewal.  If you or someone you know is struggling with a difficult time a psychologist can help you to work though some of those issues.

PSYowa would like to dedicate this post to Dr. Greg Febbraro. Dr. Febbraro, an Iowa Psychologist passed away in May of 2016. Dr. Febbraro was a loss to those who knew him, to the psychological community, and to the wider world. He had a very gentle spirit and served the community with a commitment to improving mental health care for everyone. Hopefully those whose lives that he touched experience their own positive growth and continue in his memory to make the world a better place.

References: 

Tedeschi, R. G., & Calhoun, L. G. (1995). Trauma & transformation: Growing in the aftermath of suffering. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage Publications.

Frankl, V. E. (1984). Man's search for meaning: An introduction to logotherapy. New York: Simon & Schuster.