I am very sad to say that this
post has been inspired by the two recent suicides of middle school students in
Iowa. Suicide is tragic no matter who is affected by it, but there is something
especially tragic about the loss of a young life. Unfortunately, it is the
third-leading cause of death for people ages 15 to 24 according to the U.S.
Center for Disease Control and Prevention. Many parents in our communities are now
struggling with questions about how they can recognize signs of teen depression
or warning signs of suicide.
Some common signs of depression
include: sadness, irritability, tearfulness, withdrawal from friends and
family, loss of interest in formerly enjoyed activities, restlessness,
agitation, feelings of worthlessness, guilt, lack of motivation, fatigue, sleep
issues, and sudden difficulties in concentration. Some parents may say “Don’t
all teens act that way?” It is true many teens are moody, tired, or withdrawn
because of the challenges that come along with being a teen. It is important to
let your teen know that if things ever feel overwhelming or hopeless that they
can talk to you or you can help them get to someone to talk to.
Everyone expresses depression
differently. Teen depression often looks different from adult depression. Some
things to keep an eye out for are:
- Irritability- Teens are more likely than adults to express irritability rather than sadness when depressed. If you notice your teen is snapping at you or siblings more often than usual it could be a sign of depression.
- Physical complaints – Depressed teens will often struggle with things like headaches, stomach aches, diarrhea, or nausea.
- Changes in social patterns- Adults often isolate from everyone whereas teens may change their social group, only hang out with certain people, or pull away from friends or family only. Be aware of changes in teens’ social habits.
- Low self-esteem- Depression can trigger and intensify feelings of ugliness, shame, failure, and unworthiness. This can be evident in sensitivity to criticism.
- Academic concerns- Depression can cause fatigue, lack of motivation, and concentration difficulties. If your teen is having poor attendance, a drop in grades, or you are seeing new frustration with schoolwork it could be a sign of depression.
- Drug and alcohol abuse- Teens may use drugs or alcohol to “self-medicate” or avoid what they are feeling. Unfortunately they are many substances that teens can abuse including street drugs, prescription drugs, inhalants, cough syrup, alcohol, and synthetic cannabis. It is a good idea for teachers and parents to educate themselves about the types of substances being abused and signs of abuse.
- Changes in online behavior - Teens may try to escape from or deal with how they are feeling by going online. Changes in the amount of internet use, types of sites visited, or things that teens are posting may be indicators of depression.
- Risky or impulsive behavior – Teens may be demonstrating high risk behaviors like drugs, sex, and shoplifting, fast driving, or engaging in vandalism when dealing with depression.
If you feel like your teen may be
struggling with depression talk to them. Avoid asking many questions. Feeling interrogated often
causes teens to shut down. Let them know that you are there and willing to hear
whatever they may need to talk about. Try not to lecture or minimize feelings. Some
things to avoid saying:
- “Do something about it”
- “Just go have some fun”
- “Stop thinking about it”
- “There are a lot of people who are worse off than you.”
- “Don’t feel sorry for yourself”
- “You don’t have a reason to be depressed”
- “You have so much to be happy about”
- “You are just trying to get attention” Focus on validating their feelings and letting them know that whatever they are feeling is okay. If you feel uncomfortable or unequipped to talk to them, speak with a psychologist or other mental health professional. The national suicide prevention hotline is 1-800-273-TALK (8255). They are available 24 hours a day to help.
